one reason i can't face
you is your mother.
can you understand? before
i met her, i was so sure
we'd die together and you and
i would be friends forever.
but during those long years
that we cared for her -- me,
holding her in my arms and
feeling her dying, minute
by minute -- i knew you
were so different from me.
you were her daughter. as her
mind wondered, she used
to speak to me in japanese.
yoshi told me that she
thought i was her girlhood
friend in kamakura and she
always talked about the plum
tree in her garden and the
game of ball we used to play.
naomi, she's so alone
wherever she is, in her buddhist
heaven, nirvana, wherever she is.
you should be with her,
not me. not with me. a
foolish hakujin, someone
who could never really
understand you -- ever.
so the lord be with you,
my love, my dearest love,
and with your perfect spirit.
i shall pray for you always,
whether i sing tallis
in heaven, or burn like a
whore in hell.
