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I remember that spring day like it was yesterday, April 26, 1988. My dad picked me up after school from my third grade class. We were off to Sutter Memorial Hospital to meet my new baby sister or brother. I asked him the entire 25-minute car ride there if mom had a girl or a boy. He kept telling me, "You'll see." I remember the drive to the hospital seemed like an eternity, especially for an eight-year-old. I was so anxious to meet my new sibling. I had been preparing for this day for seven long months. I was reading a book in third grade called Ramona Quimby, Age 8. The book is about two sisters, Ramona and Beezus. I decided that Beezus was a great nickname for the baby for all those months. I also had a button that said, "I am going to be a BIG sister" that I wore everywhere. I was eager to take on the challenge of being the older sister who would be a role model.
We finally arrived at the hospital and I ran to the elevator to go to my mom's room. Flying by my mom, I quickly asked where the baby was. My mom replied, "She is getting a bath". I screamed, "SHE!!! I have a baby sister?" My mom and dad said, "Yes sweetie, you now have a little sister." I thought this was going to be great. What more could an eight-year-old want?
I went to see my new sister in the nursery. She was a good-sized baby of about 7 pounds. She had a ton of jet black, stick straight hair on her head. I chuckled to myself, because she was so cute, just full of hair. I then learned her name was Lauren Elizabeth. I wheeled her back to the hospital room where I got to hold her and gaze into her brown eyes. Soon she was sleeping, but I didn't mind. My dad and I finally went home that evening, but I knew that my mom and the baby had to stay until they were well enough to come home. Lauren was born on a Tuesday, and she and mom were able to come home that Friday. I was so excited that she was going to be home all the time. We would be able to play and have fun. I was on a mission to be the best big sister anyone could have. Things would change, as we grew older.
When I was in sixth grade, at the age of eleven, I was the recipient of a Presidential reading award. To become eligible for the award, we had to read a certain amount of pages over the school year. The elementary school I went to was trying to promote reading. The awards were given out at one of our assemblies. I brought it home to show my parents. I was so excited, and so were my parents. I set the award on my desk in my room, so I could look at it everyday and be proud. I went outside to play with me friends for a while. When I returned to my award, I found it colored on with blue marker. I screamed and started to cry. I ran to my mom to show her, what happened. My lovely sister, little Lauren at the age of three, decided that she would use the award as drawing paper. I was so mad at her. I had worked so hard, for her to color all over it. As I reflect now, and still look at the award, blue marker and all, I know that Lauren colored on it accidentally. She was only three and didn't know any better. After this, I no longer wanted to be her big sister. She had no love for me obviously because she colored on my special paper.
The next event would change both of our lives forever. Lauren had just turned six, and I was fourteen. In May 1994, our parents separated and filed for divorce. I wanted to protect her. I felt as though I had to be brave even though on the inside I wasn't. Lauren was too young to understand the divorce. We told her, "Mommy and daddy don't love each other any more, they aren't happy anymore". She was okay with this and moved on with her carefree life. I on the other hand knew the real reason. My dad had been an alcoholic for many years. The toll of emotional, verbal, and finally physical abuse on my mom had to come to an end. She wanted out of the marriage for her safety, but for ours as well. I knew that my dad was not the father he should have been. He was always drunk, or out of town on business, or too busy. Lauren did not see any of this. She knew her dad to be the daddy she had grown to love who took her to the park on the weekends. She did not know about alcoholism and the negative effects it had on our family. Everyone moved on and Lauren and I would see our dad every other weekend. He had his own apartment about 15 minutes from my mom's house. After two months of this, I decided that he was not someone I wanted to spend time with. He was never the father I needed him to be, and the drinking continued. I had to get out and once again I needed to protect Lauren so she wouldn't get hurt. The court decided the custody agreement. I was old enough to tell the judge that I did not want to spend anytime with my dad. Lauren was too young to make her own decision. Custody of Lauren would start small, and as of two years ago, Lauren spends every other week at my dads house. She is still unaware of what really happened with my parents to this day. The issue has not come up and as her sister I still want to protect her. I don't want her to change her opinion of my dad now; she has grown to love him dearly. In the meantime, she wants to spend time with both parents equally.
When Lauren was nine, we found out that she had a double hernia and needed surgery. We were all scared. She had been to the emergency room a few times before for minor things, but never anything this major. She would need to go under anesthesia and the operation would take about 2 hours. We arrived at the hospital early in the morning. I was now 17 and a big sister more than ever. I wanted everything to be okay. I didn't want her to be afraid. Once again I wanted to be the perfect role model. I needed to be her sister and her friend. One that could stand by her side and tell her it was going to be okay. After the surgery was over, we went to her recovery room. The doctor told us that the surgery went well and that she could go home in a few hours. I was so relieved. I was glad that everything went well, but more importantly I was glad that Lauren would be getting better. We went home and I helped take care of her, just like a second mother.
The most recent event that changed our lives occurred one year ago, last May. I decided that I was going to move out of my mom's house and into an apartment with some friends. We signed a 13-month lease, so next month I will be moving back home after many learned experiences, the major one being that home is much cheaper. I can save money for school while living at home and not have to worry. When I made the decision to move out, Lauren was excited. We had been fighting for a while and she was looking forward to having the whole house to herself. I was excited that I was not going to have an annoying little sister around 24 hours a day. The fun wore off a few months after living apart. Something happened that I did not expect. Lauren and I grew closer together. We are two totally different people than we were one year ago. Lauren was a kid and now she is fourteen, and a young adult headed to high school in the fall. I have also grown up and learned to be responsible for my own actions. I no longer have mom to have dinner ready or my laundry done when I was too busy studying to do it. Thinking of myself as a role model has also changed. Lauren and I are now best friends. We do everything together, go shopping, go to the movies, and just have fun. She will be learning to drive in a year, and she loves when I let her start my car, and be in control of the radio (we listen to the same music now). She also calls me for help with her homework and makes sure I go to all of her sporting events. She has spent the night at my house, just as you would have a friend sleepover. We stayed up late, watched a movie, ate candy, and had fun. Lauren and I are closer than ever. We love to be with each other and we both look forward to next month when I will be returning home. I am proud to call her my best friend.
Having a sister eight and a half years younger than I was, has become a blessing in disguise. The beginning years were rocky and we fought all the time. I didn't want my little sister to go everywhere with me. I didn't want to have to include her into playing with my friends. Now, on the other hand, I welcome it. I get excited when we get together and hang out just as friends. I am still her big sister, and she knows that but we are also friends. The path we have taken hasn't been smooth, but being on it together has given us the chance to grow. We care for each other and share a love that will last forever. I truly believe that our relationship can only grow stronger in the future. We will always share the happy times and the tears together, just as friends do. I am still her protector, her guide, and her mentor, just as she is also mine. Lauren will always give me a good laugh when I need it or show me the A she received on her math test. She does things that would make anyone proud, gets perfect grades, is athletic, smart, funny, charismatic, and loving. But to her family, especially me she is a great person and I wouldn't change anything.
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