|
Chapel Conley The Story of Three |
||
|
|
|
|
|
Chapel Conley
We were young and we were three. We were the three amigos, the three stooges, or the three musketeers. It didn't matter what they called us. All three names implied the same thing. We were a three-some, and we were going to be best friends forever. We had such high aspirations, such lively spirits, and such vivid imaginations. We loved to play, we loved to swim, we loved our cabbage patch kids, but most of all we loved being friends. We loved the fact that we could say that we had been friends our entire lives. "We breast fed from each other's mother," we would brag. We had a bond - a bond that was never going to be broken by growing up or moving apart. We were always going to live near to each other, marry boys that were bonded to each other in the way we were, and of course, have babies at the same time. It was very important that our children grow up together. Oh, how we loved our play dates. We would have so much fun pretending this or that or the other. Whether we were nannies or secretaries or princesses, we were always equal - always best friends. One day, we were best friends who ran a horse business together (whatever that is). The next day, we were best friends who were orphaned by our parents, or we were best friends who lived in beautiful palaces next door to each other. We loved to imagine, pretend, and dream. When we were young we acted like kids. We played with our dolls. We made air bands. We played "Marco Polo". We didn't wear make-up. We didn't go to New Kids On the Block concerts. We didn't hang out at malls or the local In N Out Burger. When we were young, we were innocent, and we were silly. Our world was a sheltered one. We were raised in a church that at one time valued long lasting friendships. The church consisted of thirteen couples in the beginning (our parents). Everyone was so in love with Jesus. They just assumed that the love would be shared by all of their children. The thirteen couples turned into a congregation of about 400 over time. The three of us grew up in this church. I mention this because the church was such a part of our lives. It was our connection. We shared so many of the same experiences because of this church. You see, we were the guinea pigs. The first set of children to grow up in this church. They didn't know what to do with us. There were about four others our age. Of course, they weren't quite as "cool" as we were. So, we didn't like to play with them and were fairly cruel as kids are apt to be. We were three. We didn't want four. We were young and we were three. We were three munchkins - cute and innocent (at least for the time being). I was the redhead, Kristen was the brunette, and Jessica was the blonde. Now, Jess was more of a mousy blonde. So, we had to let her know that whenever possible, and she hated it. We liked to call her hair "mousy" or "dishwater". I'm sure every dishwater blonde can relate to Jessica's feelings. And every redhead can relate to mine. We always found some insecurity in the other to exploit. I don't understand why best friends feel the need to berate each other, but we did. We knew each other way to well. We knew each other's family secrets. We knew each other's favorite color and animal. We knew just what to say to make the other feel really good or really bad. We did it because we loved each other so much. Each of us wanted to be the favorite one - the one that the others always wanted to be around. When it really came down to it, however, we were three. Three was not always easy though. Three meant that sometimes one felt left out. Three meant that sometimes two ganged up. Three meant that sometimes one worried that two liked three better. Three could be very difficult, but mostly it was just fun. If one couldn't play that day, then there was always two, and if three didn't want to play with two, she could always call one. As I see it, there were only two major problems. First of all, I went to a private school. Kristen and Jessica went to public school. I was terribly jealous of them. I wanted to go to school with my best friends. The other problem was that Jessica was a year younger than Kristen and myself. Jess was very insecure about this, and she showed it by trying to boss us around or pit us against each other. There was one other pretty big problem as well. Our church. We were under strict rules, set not so much by our parents, but by the church. As young kids we did not notice it as much. Perhaps this is because it did not exist at that time. Most of the thirteen original couples were hippies turned born-again Jesus freaks. They had decided to start their own church due to the politics in their previous church. What was born of love grew into something mechanical, structured, and highly disciplined. Our parents were not the highest authority in our lives. God was; God spoke not only through the Bible, but also through our revered Pastor. Kristen, Jessica, and I were told that our bond was ungodly because it was exclusive and left others out. Because we did not want to incorporate others into our group, we were looked upon as rebellious and defiant. As we grew up, we felt scrutinizing eyes upon us constantly. As we became teenagers, we were smothered with rules. We had loving, but genuinely naïve parents. They feared that we would stray from the path of God. They did not realize they were responsible for leading us off that path. As adolescents, we were caught in this strange reality that was our life. We were very conflicted, and no one seemed to understand. We loved our parents, we loved God, and we even felt a loyalty toward our church. But, what was that world out there all about? High school was fun, but as it is for most kids, it was also a nightmare. We were torn between doing the "right" thing and doing what we wanted to do. We loved to drink alcohol and smoke weed in our teenage years as much as we liked to play with dolls when we were little. We would party on Saturday night, and show up for church Sunday morning with a hangover. We were involved in our youth group and Young Life, but it was also critical that we were a part of every high school social event, like football games and parties. We had been corrupted by "the world", and we were forced to deal with this fact every time we faced our parents or a member of our church. We often felt as if we were leading double lives. We could not wait to get out of the church and out of our parent's homes. We could not wait until we could live, free of guilt. After high school, the three of us decided to move in together. We partied through the next few years, living together off and on, going to school together off and on, and working together off and on. We did almost everything together, but then somewhere along the way, I grew up. I realized that I had been wasting my time, and relations with my best friends were not always the best. It was getting to the point that I thought would never come. It was the point of separation. Growing up I would meet girls that would say they were best friends, and I would ask them, "How long have you known each other?" They would respond with some ridiculous reply - "two months" or something like that. I never understood that. How can someone be your best friend in that short a time? Now I realize that not everyone is fortunate enough to grow up with friends. I actually have two friends who I grew up with from birth and we like each other - no, love each other. Kristen, Jess, and I - we are sisters. I feel so fortunate to have had the experiences that I have in my life. So many of these have been with Jessica and Kristen. Now, we are living our lives separate from one another. It is a quiet feeling that is very difficult to describe. My only daughter just turned one last month. Kristen and Jessica were not there to help us celebrate. Neither were their kids. I am the only one who is married or has a child. Each of us has grown up and gone our own way. We do our best to keep in touch. We e-mail, and every so often actually have a live telephone conversation. None of us have really changed that much. Our personalities remain the same, but our goals and inspiration differ. We are still a story of three, but we are three different women, taking three different paths. It is now a story of personal maturation, growth, and adventure. We will always love each other, and we will always be there for the other; however, as I grow older and wiser, I realize that my ideal - that perfect best friend - is not something tangible. It is not something I can touch and have with me all the time and say, "this is it - here it is." It is in the memories I cherish. It is in the bond that I know still exists. It is in the silence of separation that I have come to accept as a natural part of this life. |
||
|
|
|
|
|
This paper was created for English 116A |